Trying to Find Balance....

I am heading into week 23 and I am feeling anxious.  The reality of only about ten more weeks until D-day is a bit eye opening and scary.  It has definitely lit a fire under my rear end, but unfortunately I really can't "get up and go!" :)

We were very thankful to see sunshine today and took advantage of it by getting out and visiting a couple of stores.  Five minutes into the second store I was done, but it was good to at least get out.  We ordered two other cribs today and that made me feel somewhat accomplished, but I know there is much more to be done.

My appointment Wednesday went really well.  The OB reviewed my report from UAB and confirmed that nothing out of the ordinary was seen and the babies are growing at a good rate.  As of now I will have weekly visits.  At 26-28 weeks I will get my steroid shot to excellerate growth/development.  I will also be sent to labor and delivery every week to have stress monitoring done to check for contractions.  It is a big dose of reality that we are already to that point. She measured my stomach and I am measuring about 32 weeks....and I believe it!!! The OB is super positive and I am thankful for all the good reports.

Tripp's fourth birthday is next weekend and it is hard to see my baby turning into a little boy. He is going to the circus next weekend....without me. :( I won't be able to walk and climb all the stairs involved to get there. This is his first time to go and it is so very hard for me to not be selfish and say lets wait until next year.  He deserves to go, but it is hard to swallow. Michael also signed him up for ragball today.  Tripp is so excited.  The season won't start until the end of March and run through May.  Again, very hard to think that I might not make it to all of his games, or any for that matter.  This little boy has been my everything for four years and I know this is just the beginning of having to divide my time with children.  I hope I can find a good balance and that none of my children ever feel more or less important than another.  Parents do this all the time and I'm sure in time, we will figure it out.

Lots of everything going on right now and I am going to keep reminding myself to take it a day at a time, because for the rest of my life there will probably be "lots of everything going on." If you see me out you may just have to remind me to breathe. :)